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Literature Text
When I'm with you
Everything feels so easy
I don't even have to think
Of what to do or what to say
When I'm with you
Time seems to stretch forever
Never ending the moments
We have together
I never want
To spend a day without you
Doing the things
That only we can do
I never want
Another to take my place
Fighting all the heartache
I'd have to face
I wish that this
Is how things could be
I wish that this
Could be you and me
Everything feels so easy
I don't even have to think
Of what to do or what to say
When I'm with you
Time seems to stretch forever
Never ending the moments
We have together
I never want
To spend a day without you
Doing the things
That only we can do
I never want
Another to take my place
Fighting all the heartache
I'd have to face
I wish that this
Is how things could be
I wish that this
Could be you and me
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Comments18
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The second stanza is good and the rhyme scheme is nice.
However, stanzas 1,3 and 5 tell instead of show and and as a result aren't descriptive or powerful. The fourth stanza is unclear. You most likely mean that you'd have to fight heartache if he dated another, but they way you've written it suggests that the other girl would be dealing with heart ache.
However, stanzas 1,3 and 5 tell instead of show and and as a result aren't descriptive or powerful. The fourth stanza is unclear. You most likely mean that you'd have to fight heartache if he dated another, but they way you've written it suggests that the other girl would be dealing with heart ache.